Saturday, June 23, 2007

The following is the oddest thing I have seen listed for free on Craigslist:

Wooden deck 8'x11' in good condition in North Middletown (8 miles from Sandy Hook)


Yes that's right! A free deck, completely detached from the house, ready to be given away to whoever needs a new deck. Truly, truly odd.

Well the saga of the psychopath continues. Tonight, after a day spent playing, watching movies, eating chips, and hanging out at a BBQ, Marlena is once again locked in her room screaming bloody murder. Why? Let me tell you why.

We went to Whole Foods. While we were there Marlena asked for a Lollipop. Automatically I said no. We were there to get toffee and root beer for the massive online computer fest Lee and I intend on engaging in tonight. When we got home I began to make dinner. Lee came over to me and said that he felt bad telling her she couldn't have a lollipop when we were at the store to get junk food of our own. His exact words? "I thought, wow, we are kinda a&*holes."

I thought about what he said, and while I think she should absolutely eat less sugar than I allow myself to indulge in, I agreed. So Lee snuck out while I finished up dinner and got her a bag of Skittles, her favorite thing in the world. When dinner was over we gave her the Skittles to eat while she finished up her movie.

So why is she currently screaming such gems as "I am all alone! I need to brush my teeth!, I am not going to sleep! and I feel like a kid who was born and not adopted!"? Well, it's pretty simple. After the movie we asked her to brush her teeth. We explained how important it is to brush her teeth after having eaten so much candy. So she went into the bathroom and emerged ten minutes later without having brushed her teeth. We asked her if she had brushed them, she said she was using the potty and wandered back into the bathroom. Then she came out and said "I have the hiccups, I can't brush my teeth." Lee waited to see if she would hiccup. After a few minutes of no hiccups, she said "oh, I guess it was just one hiccup" and went back in the bathroom. She came out again a few moments later "My tummy hurts, I can't brush my teeth."

So Lee threw away the rest of the Skittles.

She threw one of her new and improved screaming, stomping, crying, throwing things, fits, complete with "You broke my heart!", and we locked her in her room.

This makes three weeks of insanity.

I have asked for help, and I love all who have offered it, but there is no "talking to her" or "letting things go". How can I let things go, if she screams whether or not I make her do something? If I ask her to clean her room, she will scream about having to clean it, when I say it's fine to let it go, she will scream about how much she needs to clean it. It's the same about everything else. She screams at me no matter which side I take on each and every bone of contention we have.

As for the talking, we have tried talking to her about Oliver, her feelings, change, settling in, moving, family, how much we love her, you name it. Each time she gets distracted and runs off, or she seems to listen and responds with a request for candy or a tv program. When she is upset she is too upset to talk or listen.

We have tried being extra nice, extra loving, doing more Marlena centered family activities, nothing helps.

There is nothing I can see to do but lock her in her room until she is done and hope she doesn't break anything.

Oh yeah, and eat chocolate, as I can't really drink.

3 comments:

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I vote for Robo-Mom, locking her in her room until she's done and if she breaks anything? That's tough because the things in her room are hers. Once they're broken, they're gone.

I have no idea what to tell you to try, if you've tried everything then you're tapped and hopefully this is a "phase" she's going through that will be over...when the growth spurt or whatever is over. In the meantime, it's probably time to break out Robo-mom and Serious Tough Love.

No candy, no treats, no toys, no movies, no TV, no nuthin'. Clear her room out.

I mean, if you've already tried everything else, there's nothing left to try than to strip her down to basics and wait out the worst of the tantrums. Add back a single item as she does what you ask, without the screaming fest. You have to out wait her. I know it's not easy, I do. You know I do. I live with She Who Sings When She Should Be Brushing and who has to be yelled at every single night in order to get her into bed.

Good luck. Call me to vent.

Da said...

Riding out the storm is the only option, as Hatchet lady said. Though if it is as bad as you say, it might be time to consider professional help.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Ooh! Or sleep-away camp! For a couple of WEEKS!

Caitlin is coming home today, I think she missed us. Finally!

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